Rules of the Realm
Greetings, noble traveler! You've ventured to the sacred scrolls of our establishment's guiding principles. As you tread upon this hallowed ground, know that the words inscribed here are forged to ensure harmony and mutual understanding between the Bard's realm and its esteemed visitors. May your journey through these passages enlighten your path and fortify our bond.
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An enchantment of teleportation imbue the Runes that follow. Touch them and be transported to your desired tome.
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Decrees of the Dragon
Whence one enters the realm of Starving Writer Studio, one is bound by sacred decrees and ancient rites, shaped by the wisdom of the Bard under the guidance of the Dragon.
The Binding Oath:
By navigating the streets and alleys of this domain, you henceforth pledge to honor the rules and traditions laid out within these covenants.
Ethereal Runes:
Our domain uses Ethereal Runes (cookies) not for wickedness, but to enhance your journey, remembering your past visits and preferences. Venture here, and you grant us the right to use such magics.
The Bard’s Creations:
All tales, scrolls, and images remain the sole possession of the Starving Writer Studio and Maxwell Alexander Drake. Unpermitted replication, duplication, or distribution is a grave offense, and shall invoke the wrath of the Dragon.
Merchant Transactions:
When coin is exchanged for wares within our market, you enter a pact of trust. All sales are final, save for unique circumstances as guided by the "Draconic Rite of Return."
Responsibility of Travelers:
Whilst you may share your own tales or comments within our realm, you bear sole responsibility for the words you weave. Starving Writer Studio holds no responsibility for travelers' tales that may offend, bewitch, or ensnare.
Banishment from the Realm:
Should one breach these decrees, or invoke dark magics within this domain, the Bard reserves the right to banish such souls, severing their connection to this realm.
Realm Amendments:
As seasons change and tales evolve, so too may these covenants. Revisit this scroll from time to time, for they may bear new wisdom or altered rites.
Disputes and Divinations:
Conflicts arising from these covenants shall be settled not by sword nor sorcery, but by peaceful parley. Seek first the counsel of the Starving Writer Studio ere you invoke outside oracles. Should a third-party council need to be called, it shall be done so within the confines of the kingdom of Clark County, Nevada, and all parties agree to abide by their laws evermore.
By continuing your quest within this realm, you signify your acceptance of these sacred decrees. Tread with respect, fellow traveler, and may your journey be filled with wonder.
Patron Guardianship
Within the confines of our domain, honored visitor, your satisfaction is our utmost concern. The sanctity of your experience within these walls is guarded fiercely by our scribes.
Summoning Assistance:
Should you find yourself navigating uncertain waters or in need of guidance, send forth your query by means of our mystical communications portal and Request and Audience via sales@starvingwriterstudio.com. Our scribes, trained in the ancient arts of aid, shall swiftly come to your side.
Grimoire of Common Inquiries:
For those seeking wisdom from prior visitor interactions, we’ve curated a Common Inquiries scroll to provide you with a treasure trove of knowledge. Many a seeker has found their path illuminated within its passages.
Reflections of the Realm:
We believe in the power of shared knowledge. Should you wish to grace us with your insights or chronicle your experience, please grace us with your wis. Each word you offer helps us craft an even grander tale for the next traveler.
The Custodians' Pledge:
We, the stewards of this realm, vow to uphold the honor, integrity, and dedication befitting our role. May your journey be filled with wonder, and know that we are ever vigilant, ever ready to assist.
Step forth with trust, for in the Realm of Starving Writer Studio, you are revered and protected.
Oath of Privacy
In the vast expanse of the digital realm, the sanctity of one's private moniker, alias, abode local, and any other secrets entrusted to us will always be paramount. At the Starving Writer Studio, we hold this truth as self-evident and protect the treasures of information you bestow upon us with the same zeal as a dragon guarding its hoard.
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The Scrolls and Tomes We Gather:
When you visit our domain or seek our wares, you might bestow upon us certain scrolls of information, such as:
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Your nomenclature, the title by which others know and hail you.
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The digital sigil you use to communicate, like your email or messenger pigeon details.
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Abode locations, commonly known as 'addresses', to deliver the wares you seek.
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Incantations or passwords, encrypted with ancient spells for your security.
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Histories of your voyages within our domain (cookies and browsing data).
How We Guard Your Grimoires:
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With magical wards and digital alchemy, we safeguard your scrolls from nefarious sorcerers and hackers.
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We swear upon the old and the new gods never to trade, sell, or gift your sacred information to other realms or merchants.
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Only trusted scribes within our order, those who need the knowledge to serve you best, can access your data.
The Enchanted Portals:
Our sanctum might contain portals (links) to other mystical realms (websites). Know that once you step through these portals, our protective spells no longer shield you. Thus, we advise caution and recommend you read the oath of privacy provided by these foreign lands.
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Ethereal Runes:
We employ Ethereal Runes (cookies) to craft a personalized experiences for you while inside our domain. These Runes collect essences of your past visits to better serve you upon your return. Fear not, for these are benign spells, but if you wish, you can shatter these Runes through your browsing mirror’s settings.
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Updates to this Oath:
From time to time, as ancient laws and modern magics evolve, we may scribe updates onto this Oath. When we do, we'll send a raven or leave a mark on this very page.
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Converse with Our Order:
Questions, concerns, or simply wish to share a tale? Reach out to our guardian of scrolls at sales@starvingwriterstudio.com.
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May your quests remain ever adventurous and your secrets ever safe.
Courier Protocol
From Starving Writer Studio, tales, artifacts, and relics are entrusted to the mighty wings of the USPS for most deliveries. Herein lies the covenant that binds buyer and Bard in the sacred dance of dispatch.
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Commencement of Flight:
Upon receiving your offering, a dragon normally will take to the skies within three working days, embarking on the journey to ensure your artifact reaches your dwelling.
Bard's Respite:
From time to time, the Bard's presence is requested at grand conventions or mystical events beyond the Studio's confines. As the resources of Starving Writer Studio are not unlimited, sometimes these outings require the attendance of our entire fellowship. During these junctures, the dispatch of your treasures might experience a delay, extending to a fortnight or so. Your understanding and patience during these moments, dear patron, will be deeply cherished. We beseech you to show grace during these intervals. Any display of impatience or indignation will be perceived as naught but the baseless tantrums of an impetuous child, and shall be ignored accordingly.
Transportation Guilds:
All items soar forth from the Studio's sanctum, whisked across land and sea by the most trusted couriers in the realm, each chosen for their swiftness and fidelity. Our most loyal ally is the USPS faction, but other clans could be called upon if needed.
Duration of the Voyage:
The winds, realms, and distance play their part in the time it takes for your purchase to arrive. On average, domestic deliveries span 5-7 working days, while crossing to distant shores might take as long as 15-20. The Bard beseeches your patience, as the artifacts are worth the wait.
Tracking the Artifact's Path:
Depending on the method you choose, a scrying token (known in the common tongue as a 'tracking number') will be bestowed upon you. With this, you may gaze into the ethers and follow the couriers' course, ensuring you're prepared for its arrival.
Guardians of the Parcel:
To protect your valued artifacts from thieves and rogues, items of significant worth or fragility may require a signature upon delivery.
Realm Restrictions:
There exist some realms and territories where the Dragon dare not fly. These exclusions will be listed, and should your dwelling lie within, our scribes shall make every haste to inform you.
Tariffs and the King's Due:
Any customs, tariffs, or additional charges levied upon arrival in foreign realms are the responsibility of the recipient. It is wise to acquaint oneself with one's local customs laws to anticipate any additional costs.
The Bard and the Dragon together strive to ensure the safe and timely delivery of each treasure. May your anticipation be short and your rewards grand.
Rite of Return
Blessing upon thee for your patronage of Starving Writer Studio. Thy support drives every stroke of the Bard's pen. Yet, he is no stranger to the fact that fate can be a fickle mistress. Thus, if you desire amends for a perceived wrong, here lies the sacred ritual to which you must adhere.
Within the realm of Starving Writer Studio, once an artifact has passed into your hands, its fate is sealed. It is bound to you evermore. Such is the tradition of any concluded exchange.
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Yet, every story has its exception, and every rule can have its rare bend.
If, by no fault of your own, you find your circumstance unfavorable, seek the "Draconic Rite of Return" below, for it stands as the sole channel to plead your unique case.
The Bard himself shall weigh and measure your tale and decide the path forward. But be wary and truthful, for the Dragon sees through veils of deceit and into the very soul of humanity.
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All Purchases are Eternal:
It has already been said that in the hallowed halls of Starving Writer Studio's bazaar or any gathering attended by the Bard as a tradesman, all transactions are deemed irreversible. Once coin is exchanged for treasures, the Dragon's vault denies returns.
The Bard's Benevolence:
While most agreements shall remain sealed evermore, the Bard is no heartless Necromancer. Should you consider your tale one of exception, kindly "Request an Audience" via the scroll found within each page’s footer. With the insight of ancient oracles, each plea for reconsideration shall be weighed individually. Beseeching one's case does not assure a reversal of fortune.
Pleading Your Cause:
When the winds of regret blow or you sense just cause for a return of your coin, record the story of your transaction in detail and the cause of why you seek this reversal of your agreed upon contract. The Bard shall weigh your words and dispatch an answer with all haste.
Span of Consideration:
For your plea to be heard and weighed, calls for redress must be penned within a tenday from when the original agreement was made.
Reversal of Fortune:
Should the Bard deem your plea just, your coin shall flow back through the same river whence it came, save for when a different path is required.
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In procuring treasures or trinkets from Starving Writer Studio, you bind yourself to this reparation’s edict. To that end, every patron is encouraged to peruse and grasp this commandment before parting with their coinage.
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Your faith in Starving Writer Studio doesn't go unnoticed. The Bard cherishes your unwavering allegiance. Know that your continued support is a boon more precious than gold.
Common Inquiries
Hail, seeker of knowledge. Herein lie the Chronicles of Common Queries, a compilation of the oft-asked riddles and their elucidations. As countless before you have sought clarity, so shall you find answers to the mysteries most frequently pondered. May these entries quench your thirst for understanding and guide you deeper into the heart of the Bard's realm.
What are the Ways of Procurement?
Delve into our Scriptorium, and once your choice is made, commit your desires to the Covenant of Purchase. Upon sealing said covenant, the artifacts shall embark upon their journey to you.
How Long Does Delivery Take?
The winds and currents vary by region, kingdom, and by the magnitude of your chosen treasures. Typically, expect a fortnight, but consult the Courier Protocol for specific details.
Do You Entertain Realms Beyond the Sea?
Indeed, we dispatch our relics to many a kingdom. Yet, some realms remain beyond our reach. Review the Map of Serviceable Realms for clarity.
How Might One Engage in the Ritual of Return?
Though all sales bind by ancient rites, should you deem your situation unique, peruse the Rite of Return. Plead your case with due respect, and the Bard shall judge your worthiness.
How Safe are the Coffers of Payment?
Fear not! We invoke the strongest enchantments to guard your treasures. The Crypt of Monetary Exchange remains unbreached.
Can One Alter an Existing Covenant of Purchase?
Once a covenant is sealed, its fate is largely set. However, swift communication with our Scribes might avail some leeway. Send your missive via sales@starvingwriterstudio.com.
How Often Do New Relics Grace Your Shelves?
As often as the phoenix rises! The Bard, in his never-ending quest, constantly brings forth new wonders. Embrace the Bard’s Missives and you shall forever stay informed.
Doubts still clouding your horizon? Request an Audience via sales@starvingwriterstudio.com, and one of our Scribes shall dispel your uncertainties.
Wholesale Requests
Hearken, revered book merchants of the land! Starving Writer Studio extends a hand of partnership, offering our cherished volumes to fill your esteemed shelves. Should you seek to delve deep into the tales of the Bard and share them with the eager masses, we present an opportunity most enticing.
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By choosing to align with us in this grand enterprise, any order that meets our set minimums shall earn a gracious boon of 40% off the tome's cover price. Such is the reward for those who champion the spread of epic tales and sagas to every corner of the realm.
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To initiate this symbiotic venture, do reach out with your specifics via sales@starvingwriterstudio.com. Our Scribes eagerly await to weave this partnership and ensure that our stories resonate in the hearts of many, from your very shelves.
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Step forth, and let us together bring fantasy to life in every nook and cranny of this world.